Monday, 22 October 2012

YA entry #9 - THOSE WHO CAN'T SPEAK

Name: Jani Grey
Title: THOSE WHO CAN’T SPEAK
Genre: YA Urban Fantasy
Word count: 83,000

Hook:

Seventeen-year-old Cadence has a tough job keeping her city and its residents safe from the Saints and Prophets held prisoner inside. When somebody starts de-spiriting the city’s people on her watch, she has to work fast to catch the culprit while the prison walls start to crumble, or watch everyone she cares about fall victim to the madman behind it.

Line:

“It’s like we’ve been sitting on the lying bench this whole time and all we can say to each other is anything but the truth.”

Sinker:

Sebastian said he found me in a hole, and I imagined it quite similar to the one I now dangled in head-first. He didn’t want to tell me what kind of hole, but I suspected it was the kind that was dark and damp. The kind of place mothers threw unwanted babies and left them to die.

Just after one a.m. I found myself hanging upside down in such a hole. Sebastian had sent me there after he received an anonymous call that something had been dumped inside it. More like sent me to do his dirty work, the lazy slob. I wondered why he would send me out in the middle of the night when he nagged about safety and whatnot so often.

I’d decided to crawl into the hole instead of taking the rungs hammered into the cold concrete inside it. I liked keeping life interesting, my current position testament to that. Right now, the only thing that kept me from falling into the black abyss I faced was my mute best friend, Zadie.

“Can you hand me a flashlight? I think I see something,” I called to her.

“If I hand you the flashlight, I’ll have to let go of one of your legs and you’ll plummet to your death.”

After years of hearing Zadie speak when she was supposed to be mute I didn’t find it strange anymore. She was mute, to everybody except Sebastian and me. She had some kind of psychological block we didn’t talk about, call it one of our many unspoken Best Friend Rules.


**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday.


3 comments:

  1. Loved the hook! Please send me the first fifty pages, along with a synopsis-as a word attachment- to pooja@kimberleycameron.com. Looking forward to reading your work!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hooked! Please send the first three chapters and your synopsis to: Terrie(at)akaliteraryllc(dot)com, and please state in the Subject Line: YA Entry #9- Those Who Can't Speak.

    Much appreciated,
    Terrie

    ReplyDelete
  3. I loved your first page, and would love to request more on behalf of Kent Wolf at Lippincott Massie McQuilkin. Please send your first hundred pages as a Microsoft Word doc, with your query letter pasted into the first page, to amanda [at] lmqlit [dot] com. I look forward to reading your work!

    ReplyDelete

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