Monday, 22 October 2012

YA entry #6 - THE RECRUITED

Name: Ellen Rozek
Title: THE RECRUITED
Genre: YA thriller
Word count: 76,000

Hook:

Recruited by the government to help fight Renegade terrorists, Naomi must keep her growing friendship with a gang member a secret from her employers--and the Renegades themselves--if both of them are to survive.

Line:

As soon as Naomi was inside they were gone, speeding away from the Renegades, the street thugs, and the boy who'd helped her for reasons she couldn’t begin to understand.

Sinker:

The clank of her cell door opening startled Naomi upright. “Williams, you have a visitor,” the guard said.

Naomi stared blankly at her, legs dangling off the edge of her bunk. “What?”

“You have a visitor,” the guard repeated. “There’s a man here to see you.”

“But it’s not my parents’ day to visit, and my dad—”

“You. Have. A. Visitor.” By now there was no masking the irritation in her voice. “Get your ass up and come with me.”

Picking herself up off the bed, Naomi attempted to straighten her wrinkled uniform before her hands were cuffed. It was September 4th, 2025, according to the small calendar she used to count down the days left on her sentence. The guard held her by an elbow as she escorted Naomi through a maze of hallways to the small visiting area at the front of the facility.

The room was about half full with girls and their families or friends. They talked in low voices, their volume occasionally flaring up on a shout or a curse. Laughter was all but unheard of here.

It took Naomi two seconds to identify the man who’d come to see her. He sat by himself at a table in the farthest corner of the room. His posture was perfect, better than hers, even though her mother had been telling her to sit up straight for years. As the guard led her up to the table she noticed his expensive-looking suit and his neat, close-cropped hair.


**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday.

2 comments:

  1. This sounds very familiar and I don't know if I saw it in a contest or received it as a query, but can you please send me the first three chapters as a Word .doc attachment? Email me at sl@cbltd.com, paste the full query in the body of the email, and put "HLandS Contest" in the subject line. Thanks!

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  2. Sometimes I think we see books that need to be more. I'm with Sarah. I want to see more! Please send: in the body of your email: your cover letter, synopsis and first three chapters, to: Submissions(at)akaliteraryllc(dot)com. In the subject heading please state: HL&S - Requested by Terrie - with your entry number.

    Many thanks,
    Terrie

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