Monday, 22 October 2012

YA entry #2 - IGNITE

Name: Natasha Hawkins
Title: IGNITE
Genre: YA Urban Fantasy
Word count: 65,000

Hook:

Branded with PTSD after her grandma’s murder, seventeen-year-old Alison is desperate to find the killers and prove her sanity. With the help of a fire-wielding Watcher from a secret protection agency, Ali is led to a discharged scientist determined to eliminate supernatural abilities. When the agent learns Ali possesses a new power over Water, she’s next on his to-cure list.

Line:

Peeking beneath my eyelashes, my gaze falls on a dimpled smile illuminated by the moonlight, and I wonder if my rescuer is grinning because he thinks I thanked him for adjusting my hair or for saving my life.

Sinker:

Leg-over-leg, I cross the hand railings that keep visitors from falling over the edge, and white knuckle the wooden beam behind me. There’s no false sense of security now—only a blanket of black ocean thirty feet below taunting me:

Here lies Alison Summers. Devoted daughter. Sister. Dog-lover.

One slip and that will be chiseled into the headstone above my eternal resting place. That is, if someone finds my body. Not that I expect a superhero to swoop down and save me, but an easier way out of this nightmare would be nice.

A fishy aroma spikes the wind. It should remind me of the summers my family vacationed here, but instead I’m left with the urge to gag. All my inner organs feel like they are pounding violently against each other. At first, La Paz Beach was a logical place to run, but now at the dead end of this pier there’s no time to consider a better plan. They are hot on my heels. If only I knew who they were. My head whips toward heavy footfalls. But the thick marine layer makes it nearly impossible to see my hand in front of my face, let alone those who are trailing me.

My foot slips. I adjust my position on the damp ledge, and I grab the beam tighter. A tingle creeps inside me as I consider a crazy thought. I let go of one hand—just one—and a gasp escapes my trembling lips.

“Don’t jump.” The words are barely a whisper in my mind.


**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday.


4 comments:

  1. Um, YES PLEASE, this opening is cracking. Please email full to jmushens[at]pfd[dot]co[dot]uk

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm hooked! Would you send me a synopsis and the first fifty pages of your manuscript to pooja@kimberleycameron.com? Looking forward to reading your work!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Natasha! I just wanted to say that even though this premise isn't right for me, I think there is some pretty solid writing here. I hope you get lots of requests!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love this. Send more! (Please)...
    Please paste into the body of your email: your cover letter, synopsis and first three chapters, and send to: Submissions(at)akaliteraryllc(dot)com. In the subject heading please state: HL&S - Requested by Terrie - with your entry number.

    Thanks,
    Terrie

    ReplyDelete

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