Monday, 22 October 2012

YA entry #10 - THE LONG TIMERS

Name: Triona Murphy
Title: THE LONG TIMERS
Genre: YA Sci-fi Thriller
Word count: 77,000

Hook:

A drug that prolongs life by 200 years has split society into the long-timers who can afford it and the short-timers who would do anything for a few extra years. Seventeen-year-old Remy's parents invented the drug—but when he finds out its horrific source, Remy has to decide if a few hundred years can possibly be worth the price.

Line:

My uncle was only 152 when he died, but five hundred people showed up for his funeral anyway.

Sinker:

My uncle was only 152 when he died, but five hundred people showed up for his funeral anyway. No one seemed very interested in his corpse, though—they were much more into comparing designer outfits and telling stories about their neighbors. When anyone did remember Uncle Devin, rotting away in his fine mahogany box, it was only to cast a scornful look in his direction.

I knew exactly what they were thinking.

What a loser.

Hey, it made sense. I was his only nephew, and I thought he was a loser too.

I picked at a loose thread on my suit pants as the funeral reader, standing on the grass next to the casket, started in on the list of accomplishments.

Sorry, Uncle Devin. No matter how much Dad paid this guy, I'm not buying it.

"Then, when he was only eighty-three," the reader intoned, "Devin left home to make his way in the world."

Beside me, my mom snorted. I had to hide my own smile. When my grandparents kicked him out, Uncle Devin went straight to my parents. He spent the next seventy years living in their house, sponging off them and chasing get-rich-quick schemes.

Dad gave us both a stern look, and I quickly forced my face into a solemn expression. Great. Just great. Dad was going to kill me when we got home. The news outlets were all here, dutifully recording the funeral. I could hear the report now: Remy Bardin, son of esteemed scientists Chloe and Julien Bardin, jokes around at his uncle's funeral and drags the family name through the mud.


**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren't participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday.


1 comment:

  1. This is fun, even if it's not meant to be. I'm hooked and need to know more! Please paste into the body of your email: your cover letter, synopsis and first three chapters, and send to: Submissions(at)akaliteraryllc(dot)com. In the subject heading please state: HL&S - Requested by Terrie - with your entry number.

    Thanks,
    Terrie

    ReplyDelete

Commenting is for winners.